PARADOX: Two physicians!

"I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. "  

Broken pencils are pointless.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore 

PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.

I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit . ;-p

RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy ...

POLARIZE: What penguins see with.

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
Her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work!

Happy New Year