Exchange between pilots and control tower

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German):"Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

Fed Ex merger

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP or UP SEX ?

Feng Shuit

Feng Shuit: when rearranging the furniture just doesn’t work at all.

All the Cars in the World

If you were to line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Indian Medicine

An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.
The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

Indian Maths

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...
The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.